Sunday, August 7, 2011

5 minutes of lyf!

A Bus rushed by.She had waved her hand..but it didn’t stop.So had he.They looked at each other..and smiled hesitantly…this was the fourth bus they’d been waving at…
It was getting late.She had to get home by 6.It was their daughter’s 3rd birthday..and they were having a small dinner with friends. It was already 5.30.
He had no reason to rush home.It was just the normal Wednesday for him.All he had to do was go back to the TV for sometime, take bath,have dinner..and sleep.”I’l try the dhaba today”he thought to himself.Thats when it started raining.
They rushed back into the shade of the bus stop. It was hardly a cover..Cause the rain was pelting down now.And the wind was blowing hard too. There were cars on the road..but not a bus to be sighted!!...and “where are all the rikshaw guys???”she thought to herself.She clutched her bag to herself…Thank god she had left the file back at office!
He wished he had a cigarette wid him rt then.The weather was awesome!The rain had just “happened” without a warning….and well, the wind would snuff out his smoke before it was lighted..but aah! was always good to smoke in the rain! He checked his pockets. He had a gum...and his wallet.Well,gum it was then!..not that he liked it too much..but there wasn’t anything else to do. He unwrapped the gum he kept for emergencies...And there was a gust of wind. The wrapper was blown towards the lady in blue..shitt!!!
She kept checking her watch…and time seemed to be flying…The wind was blowing hard messing up her carefully done hair.Shebent over her bag looking for her band..or something to tie her hair ..and something hit her right on the face.It was a piece of a wrapper..”must have been blown by the wind”,she thought..thats when she saw him looking apologetically at her.
“Sorry..about that”he said.
“Err..wha..oh the wrapper?...thats alright”..
And they smiled at each other.
“Looks like we’l be stuck here for sometime”,he said.
“Yeah…..n no autos also.God!m gonna be late!!”she said…”It my daughter’s birthday party” she offered.
“She has a daughter?? Looks like a kid herself…well not kid..but in her early twenties…the “young lady” kinds..a very striking young lady that too.”.. he thought to himself as he smiled at her.
“oh..nice..How old’s your daughter?”
And they smiled again.
The wind started howling.He looked at her.She was saying something.he gestured that he couldn’t hear her..and moved closer.
“You know the bus timimgs?”she yelled over the wind.
“There’s usually one every 15 mins” he yelled back.
He reminded her of someone.Up close she noticed that he was wearing a shirt manufactured for the company she worked with and she smiled at ta tag.
He looked at her questioningly.
“I work for them”, she said pointing to the label.She had to move close for him to hear that.
“Oh!!hey nice!your lucky husband!..m sure you get loads of free mens stuff there!”,he joked.
She smiled,but there was a very distant look on her face or was he just imagining it?..
“So what do you get at the end of the year sales? stuff?”
“Well,shirts mostly,”she answered,”and ties,..belts…we got perfumes once.”
“Whoa!! Paradise!..I should marry someone who works there”
She laughed at that..”Well,you could forward me your resume.I could circulate it!!..”
“With pleasure..its already been circulate far and wide.Its a wonder it hasn’t reached your office yet!My mother’s really busy with the girl hunt..maybe I could save her the effort!!”
They laughed…feeling comfortable with each other..She noticed that he had a very nice nose..kinda like her dad’s!!
“So how long have you been married?..4 years?”..he asked.
“Oh no…second year running”..
“Oh..kay…”…but the kid’s 3 years old he thought..
“Betu’s from my husband’s first marriage”..she said.
He looked at her surprised.How had she known what he had been thinking?
“I get that look often..”she offered as an explanation..”Its alright.”
“Oh!! face says it all hmm?..sorry about that..”
“Its really alright!”,she replied again…but again there was that far away look on her face..There was something..He wanted to know more..Wanted to wipe that sad look and bring back that happy smile.Something was pullinh him towards her…
He was looking at her,and she could feel herself drawn to him…a stanger..a total stranger..yet there was something…like they’d known each other for long.
As he lowered his head towards her and looked right into her eyes it was as though…
“Its really alright?”he asked softly.
She nodded .
They stared at each other unable to tear the eyes apart.
Suddenly the sound of an approaching bus honking loudly jolted them.
“BUS!!”she yelled moving onto the road.As it slowed down towards them,she looked back and smiled at him…”So your resume?”
“You’l get it..”,he answered unsmilingly…still unable to bring himself to look away from her.
She nodded..and got onto the bus that she now wished hadn’t stopped.
She looked back.. into his eyes..and there was that same pull…she didn’t even know his name.
He kept looking at her.As the bus moved he actually felt a tug at his heart strings!...She became a tiny obscure blur..thats when he was able to turn his head.
He swallowed…thenext bus was within another 15 minutes..but now he really needed a smoke.he moved towards the chai stall.It had stopped raining too.
She could see him moving..and wondered if they would cross paths ever again.

an incident in their lives

It was the though nothing had changed in the past few weeks…the same bus conductor..who never had change..the same cobbler by the municipal office building..the same guard who glared at her as she went through…all the familiar faces..They’d never exchanged a word the past two years..not much of a smile either..It was just the flash of recognition…but there was something very comforting about that…
It had been an entire two months trial…the courts,..cases…sheets of paper to be signed in..attorneys rushing around in their black she’d always hated those uniforms!..and it seemed that she’d spent an entire lifetime between figures clad in black and white…
It was such a relief to be back..away from all that..amongst familiar yet unfamiliar faces..There was something about the city that put her at ease..She’d shifted to a new paying guest accommodation..which meant that she didn’t have to deal with the pitying looks and all the sympathy!...Well,of course she’d to deal with it at work..but that was ok…all she had to do was keep glued to her seat and system..and everyone had their own problems…so they hardly had time to sympathise,.., empathise..or whatever!!..she remembered the look on the milk man’s face when she’d gone to get milk last week…oh that was when she’d decided that she had to get back ASAP!!!
The divorce had been smooth..everything had been amicably settled.She had just wanted to get out of the relationship as soon as it was possible. ..she’d put up with it for more than a year..she din’t want even to think about the past anymore..he had been cheating on her…right from day one…..caught him multiple times..with different women. She had talked to him about it...She’d thought that they had matters settled between them finally…home had seen much more had seemed that he was making time for her…that was when she caught him with the new maid…and that was IT!!!!...
As she walked down the path..she wondered at her ability to cope with the decision.To be brutually honest..It hadn’t been too hard.True,it had taken a toll on everyone’s life at home..but well,they’d never been aware of the real situation.She’d never spoken about it .They had tried talking to her about it…brought in close aunts and uncles into the picture…but she’d never budged from the decision that she’d taken…and Thank God for that…!!The very prospect of walking into the same room where he was irked her…maybe time would heal it all….But to make a long story had been easy on her as they had never actually been soul mates..there had been something missing from the relationship right from the start.She had tried to better matters between them,but it hadn’t worked…he’d been quite alright with the normal husband duties..been caring considerate..and all that..but..there was that BUT.Maybe that was what caused his philandering ways….maybe she was also partly responsible for it…
They were better off apart..she was now free from the nauseating crushing feeling from within..and somehow the world seemed a better place..She was all set to start from hone her writing skills again which she had abandoned without as much as a backward glance..She had to carve a place for herself both at work and between friend circles..
His side:
He was at ease..finally. Sure,things were definitely moving his way..but then they were destined to.No woman would put up with what he done…and he had known she would leave…
He smiled to little she had known him..she had accussed him of being a womanizer of all things!!!..hehe!!well,of course he had set it all up so that she could accuse him of that..but it did seem so out of his league!...and so he had told pratheesh…but then pratheesh had pointed out that it was the only way she would want to let go of the relation without being hurt…and it was true.If he had tried to speak to her,without letting out the would have brought about years of despair..and she would probably never get out of it…This way it was better. he could stand the hatred.
He thought of the day his father had brought forward the that time he had thought that he would be able to skirt around and always..but things didn’t work.Befor he knew it,things were finalized and a day was fixed…and then..he was married!!!..He wasn’t a bad guy..he knew that she deserved better..more than he would ever be able to give her..and he couldn’t get himself to tell her the truth.He spoke to Pratheesh about it..and that’s when they came up with their plan..the usual philandering..that would always result in separation of the couple. He had thought that she would move out at the first sighting itself..that she would get angry and just pack her bags and leave.But that did not happen..She stayed..and he had to put up the act more than a couple of times..But she was just so patient with him..he knew that he would have been a very lucky man..if things were otherwise.When she had brought the matter to him..and had finally sat down and spoken to him,that’s when he realized all that she had been through for his sake..and he hated himself for it.He thought he would try to be the husband she wanted…give it a shot at least..and true..,life did seem so much pleasant then…but from the outside.The truth churned within him,..and every night as he llay down beside her,all he could he could think about was him.
Once he had talked to her,he had brought the matter to him,Pratheesh..and told him that he had decided to give it another shot and be with her.He had always..And he had stood by him.
“If you think you’ve gotta do it..then go for it..I’l always be here.”Pratheesh had said.
Pratheesh had never had to be at cross roads with his identity.He had known that he was a misfit in the society and had been open about.His folk had had time to accept him the way he was..and had never bothered him with marriage.He had shifted to the city and that’s when he had met Sandeep.
It would always be something that normal people would never understand..but they had fell in love right at the start.There was something that drew them together..a certain void filled within..Pratheesh had understood it from the start.Sandeep had taken time..been revolted at himself..for his seemingly abnormal tendencies..but then had finally fallen into the life would have him. People would say that it was going against nature..but to them there seemed nothing more was almost like it was what they had been waiting for all life.
That’s when Sandeep was forced into marriage with Rita…he had done his best to go against his family..but somehow things went out of hand..and before he knew it,He was living with her in the city.
“Lets get to know each other first..before we..err..consumate our marriage?”he had asked her delicately on their first night together.She had looked surprised ..but agreed..thankfully..and the “getting to know each other”..stretched for an entire year..with his little escapades filling in a major portion of that one year..When they had had their li’l talk…hmm..that’s when he realized that maybe he ought to put in a bit of effort into the marriage.And he had tried…given it his best shot actually..but she was never the one he wanted to be with towards the end of the day.It was always Pratheesh.So he had spoken to him and they planned the final episode together..with the newly appointed maid.It had worked…and thus came an end to their life together.
He had moved in with Pratheesh on the pretext of lowering expenses with sharing a flat.And finally he was at peace.She had moved back to the city,where she had been working before the wedding..and through the disastrous year of their marriage.he could never bring himself to be honest with himself with his parents.His father,being the ex-military..might as well as fire at him!..They were upset ..of course..but there were no talks of marriage at the moment..He was satisfied with the way things were.
Life would move on.

Life is crazaii

10 yrs down ta lane…I wanna be really settled in life..and happy wid ta way things are then.I wanna be running to wrk..rather than away from it!....I’ve seen ppl run away from work cos they hate wat they’re doing.…and at 26..i think…I’m guessing that I wud be happy teaching….mind u..m still not too sure of this…
all ma life I’ve been fluctuating kinda…I remember at the age of 3..i really wanted to be a doctor…help people..and all that…that lasted till when I was in the 10th grade..Think it was the exam, entrance exam that putt me off!!!...dunno!anyways..By the end of my 12th std...Doctoring”..was the last thing I wanted to do….”no life”….that was ma excuse!!!...and then…it went on to …journalism…hehe…yeah I know..rt frm the biology text to my Shakespeare!!!...lollz..wat put me to it?..well call me crazy…but ta answer is a movie..”pathram”….a Malayalam movie flick…hehe!..n when did I realize that?...when I’d finally joined for a journalism course at one of the best colleges in the country…and in the first class one of the staff had taken it to ask the students the usual..”name and about yrself..and why did you join the course”…I still really don’t know why I said it was a movie that made me do choose journalism!!..hehe!!everyone else in the class was giving such elaborate reasons for choosing the field..and I had none!...that’s when the movie came to mind!!...and I just tried to convince the rest of the class…and myself..that was the reason I was seated in the class!!...
That stint lasted for 3 months!Thats it!! the end of those three months..I just knew that I wasn’t cut out for anything of that sort…I would NOT run around and cover the news!!Hell! I hardly knew what was going on in my country!!!...and I was missing ma mom!!..(That sounds bad I know..I sound like one spoiled brat!!)
And then I headed home…and as luck would have it…ma parents were still against my decision of joining the journalism course…safety was there concern…and well….err….I hate saying this but I kind of just played along…bad girl me!!!!
Hehe…and well…I was made to join engineering course…AND I have no regrets about that!!...I made the best of my friends there…met the love of ma life… (to whom I’m currently married ;)..)…and in short had the greatest time ever…Completed the course…worked for a couple of years…and again had an awesome time..made new friends…picked up more on life…went for higher married in the afore mentioned “love of my life”…still studying…hoping to complete the course…go teach somewhere…and by the end of 10 years….just want to be happy!!!
Did I mention that I would like to do a course in interior designing some time???!!!
Wonder if I’ll get tym to squeeze it somewhere in life!!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Never knew what I was missing...

I never knew how incomplete my life was...until they came along..

Yes..true.the path ahead was blurred..i wasn't sure wer ma next step would be..and a constant headcahe prevailed....but i always thought that tats just ta way it is wid everone..tat it was all just another part f our lives.There were times weni would stare out into the vision surrounding me..wishing tat it would all be abit more clear...but well,if it was intended to be tat could one oppose that???
...It all started one fine saturday.hmmm..we were out..father,mother n and I totally involved in ta usual mother-daughter jibe...and dad leading us on to a point in ta if he weren't part of ta family at all...haha!! everyday! was still bright and sunny..ta time being hardly 5 pm..tats wen i tripped..n i fell headlong into the pile of dead autumn leaves heaped up onto ta sidewalk..Now my mom n dad aren't exactly ta kind who wud sympathise wid me fr slipping n falling....instead i was chastened for not watching my step!!!and me?.."I din't see tat stone maa".
Mom "How could you not??? was pretty big!!!..u never pay attention kuttu!!!This is not ta first tym this is happening.. yr never attentive..just look at yr maths answer sheet..its ta best example..""...etc etc..n tat went on..and guys...tat stone WAS pretty least to my eyes it was..
Thats was just to my vision tat things were small..everything appeared less significant to my vision..ta problems on the board..ta bus name and the destination..hell!I cudn't even make out whether ta cute guy in class was actually luking at me or not!!!I started noticing how a bench mate dint have to squint and stare at ta board to copy notes..dint have to take extra care while climbing ta stairs..they cud actually luk up n walk!!..well, cud I..just tat i'd slip midway!So thats when i started looking up on correcting vision...spoke to my mom regarding ta same...and we finally went to an optician!..
Ta first tym she added ta extra lens to my was like..all so perfect!!!!ta sudden clarity,the sharpness of the figures around me!..n most astounding of all,.. the image tat stared back at me from ta mirror!!!.."did i always have tat mole on my head mom?"...n she gives me this wierd look n says,.."Of course silly!"
So its been like that ever since...a new pair of eyes..and a clearer ,more beautiful world(though..i must say,ta fireflies..when they glow at night.. luk so much more magical when i remove my specs)......
and so, as i was saying...i never knew how incomplete my life was until they, pair of specs, came along.....;)

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

after a long tym....

new first after quite a few months...lyfs just changed so drastically....2 yrs in a sw industry...and then suddenly..lyf comes back at colg...doing a PG course...and then i get married,,!!,,haha!...i mean its all happened so suddenly!..and t tell ya ta truth,,,none f it has sunk in....its lyk m still waiting fr ta cab to arrive in ta morn and take me to office....:P!.s...
.....gals out there who are marriedh..did guys face ta same probs tat m having rt nw?..lyk u wanna be at yr home wid yr parents(tho of course u luvvvv yr in laws..)...i was crying fr more than a week before ta wedding..n m still crying..2 weeks after ta wedding!...err...isnt tat kinda extreme???!!...guess its cos m away from home n husband..:P...we've been together fr ta past 6 yrs now...and we've hardly ever spent tym togethner after colg...but seriously guys...god does something to u once yr married...there's this kinda physical binding knot...tat pulls at u as ta distance grows...hehe!..maybe m just imagining't be..its an actual physical ache at ta heart strings..hahah!!
hmmm..lyk i was saying me back to colg after an brk f 3 yrs....and well....its all so different!..ta 1st few days i felt all topsy lyf's tken a sudden U-turn....and i was still stuck in ta inertia!..seriously...colg is like one big whack on ta head!..haha!!..1st few days i used to think i was too old fr this..(hehe!..sachi!!)bt then i gt used to it..ta class bunking...movies...commenting....hehe..its like i've never been away...hmmm..
...well i guess tats lyf...u hav ta unexpected lurking at every corner!!!